Dirk Tales, the Book by Dan Skinner

Author:Dan Skinner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: gay, humor, new adult
Publisher: Dan Skinner

Fast forward back to the two of us at the restaurant in the Loop. I should note that the Loop is a section of the city surrounded by housing, mainly for college students for the nearby university, is ethnically diverse, culturally esoteric, and eclectic in its businesses. There are art shops and handcrafted jewelers. There are theaters and an avant-garde movie house. There is even an Art Deco hotel. You can find any kind of cuisine in the restaurants along this five-block area, and you can see every imaginable kind of individual. It is the liberal heart of the city where bikers and hippie-throwbacks congregate harmoniously. In other words, Dirksville. His innuendo t-shirts blend right in like normal scenery.

He’s finally turned his attention to the menu and is reading it very carefully. He’s a religious Vegan these days, which means he will not have anything related to animals in his diet, including by-products like milk, cheese, or eggs. So he scrutinized every menu item listed as vegetarian to make certain it met his strict requirements. It’s because of this adherence to dietary specifics that he’s learned to cook and he’s become quite the Vegan chef. But dining out with him can be a horror show or entertainment, depending on your perspective of a royal pain-in-the-ass.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Damian himself,” a deep gruff voice came booming toward us. It belonged to a very large man with a scraggly salt-and-pepper beard and mustache and matching long hair, wearing a green bandana with a prominent marijuana leaf in its center. He’d bound in a tight apron over plaid shirt and leather vest and jeans. His cowboy boots looked well-worn and as big as boats. It appeared he’d tip the scales somewhere at steer.

“Hey Brian.” Dirk introduced me to the owner of the establishment. “He’s a friend of Maleficent.”

“How is your mom? Does she know she left your cage open?”

It was clear he knew my muse well.

“I gnawed my way out.”

Brian read Dirk’s shirt and looked at me, and for the first time I felt the need to make denials. He said nothing, though.

“You gonna have something more this time than a cup of coffee?” he asked.

That was where the real fun began.

“Are all your vegetarian meals Vegan?”

He nodded.

“You know the difference, don’t you?”

“Like I know the difference between Kine bud, Beaster and Dro.”

No doubt, the man knew his weed, and that explained the bandana. He was a connoisseur.

“Do you have a separate grill for the vegetarian stuff? Use different pots and pans and utensils?”

“You know it.” Brian seemed very patient, like he’d been through this before. It is, after all, college town. I imagined Dirk wasn’t the first to give him the third degree on this subject.

“What kind of oil do you use?”

He smiled. “Would you like to inspect the kitchen?”

I suspect it was said in jest, but Dirk was quick to take him up on the offer.

“Sure, let’s go, Doc!” He gestured for me to join them. Brian was still smiling, so I was thinking we weren’t being disinvited from the premises just yet.

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